Eh

I'm feeling a bit... inconsequential and unimportant

I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'm losing grasp of everything and everyone I care about. Not my family, but my friends. I feel isolated and forgotten. It's so stupid, but I see other people with a million facebook wall messages since graduation by countless people... and me... very few. I hate being so insecure, but I revert back to this place every so often. I don't like the way this is going, with everyone far away. I want to rewind to a few months ago. I'm scared that law school will be so time consuming that all I will be doing is working and I won't form the same kind of friendships and comfort level I had at Syracuse. I'm afraid to be alone and I find myself missing the companionship of friends more and more (and kind of wanting that thing I fear the most... a real relationship where I have to be vulnerable).

I hate being like this! I hate wanting a faceless and nameless boy, but I hate wanting a specific one even more. I just want things to work out, I want that happily ever after that I know doesn't really exist, but I want it anyway.

Oh, and I have this sketchy burn scar on my hand, but I don't remember burning myself...